In my war against depression, I managed to gain control after ten years or so. Yet its remnants remain inside of me, hitting me hard sometimes. Like yesterday, there was nothing going wrong in my life but I suddenly felt like I almost broke down on my feet.
Depression is not being sad when there is something wrong, it’s being sad when there’s nothing wrong., Kevin Breel said something along that line in his TED Talk. That’s so damn true.
It’s hard to say what to do when you’re depressed. Because, like any other depressed person, I know that damn thing: when you are depressed, you do not want to do anything, even just lift a finger.
Mostly, I will spend those times lying on the floor, or a little better – on my bed, doing nothing but feeling bad. Feeling terrible. Feeling like no matter what I do, my life is totally messed up beyond recovery etc… Damn those days of depression.
Anyway, I must think of a way to get better. I recall all the cases of depression that I know and how they end, either terribly or happily. Soon enough, I begin to treat my depression just as another case. Analyze it, try to understand it… or not. Yet that way surely makes me feel better in some ways. Knowing that I’m not battling alone (like what my depression makes me think), knowing that it is quite usual to be this way and there are people getting healed out there… – those pieces of knowledge help me to last through my hardest days.
There are talks that really help me out, therefore I think of sharing them, hoping they can help someone else. So here they are:
Depression, the secret that we share – Andrew Solomon
Confession of a depressed comic – Kevin Breel